Okay I really have no time for this, but I must jsut say:

If one were to be on campus and raptors were to attack, the library would be a pretty sweet place to be. So many things to throw, so many shelves to hide amongst, --even here in the LRC, which is sort of a giant death trap, there're still all the TV cubicles in the middle to duck and dart around in! I think that given warning, my weapon of choice would be the big industrial sized fans they have back here--if we could pry off the screening, that would have some pretty powerful rotary saw action, yeah? And if you're trying to just wait it out, there are worse places to be than huddled under a computer desk in here. I'm sure that even if it got close, you could do a fake out and get at least one of them to bite through a power cable and electrocute themselves, right? Or does that only work in the movies? OH WAIT I just realized that that is a ridiculous question to ask.

OKAY now that I have finished my writing fellows bid'ness (PHEW!) I have leisure to theorize further, whilst I wait for fair Celia to finish up her paper on Emerson

SO.

What kind of information do we have on raptors and elevators? Could one, in a pinch, hop on an elevator and stop it between floors somehow? I've got a bag of Holland Mints--I could last there for DAYS. Hmm.

I have long held that the most cinematic building for a raptor attack would be the JFSB. I mean, check out the large courtyard, shiny glass gallery exterior, and extremely simple rectangular floorplan. I've just accepted that if caught in a classroom in the basement, there's just no way--there's just one main hallway that goes around the entire building, and the only doors lead to windowless, underground classrooms. The final showdown in the atrium would be awesome--you know that's what they had in mind when they put in the big spiral staircase, right?

Oh gosh, there actually might be an escape--I just remembered that the JFSB has it's own underground parking garage! Oh, this is RIPE. That would be scary as all get out--can you imagine running in the low ceiling'd bare cement-ness with a pack of raptors after you? Yikes. Chilling. I reallyshould learn how to hotwire a car--that way you could steal some social science professor's SUV and hopefully make a screeching break for it, and maybe take a few raptors out on your way. Of course all the lights and noise and movement would only alert their T-Rex friend to your whereabouts, and then you're screwed again. And at that point you'd have to seek refuge in either the Talmage, the Tanner, or the Administration building, none of which I am at all familiar with. And we know going into this that the only advantage we have is our expert knowledge of the terrain--give that up and you've got no chance. Oh but hey, there's also the JKB right there. And dude, have y'all ever been on the top floor of that place, where the Writing Center is? Those hallways are TINY. Like, calles estrechas, little medieval alleyways in Toledo skinny. I wonder if a raptor would even have clearance up there.

Okay team, the plan: In case of raptor attack, meet in the Writing Center!! Huzzah!

Or, in a more loyal-to-my-job light, meet in the Writing Fellows office--that place has got a key-pad door! And I know the code! I KNOW THE CODE THAT WILL SAVE ALL OUR LIVES. Also it is well stocked with cookies and popcorn and such, because we are such a fun loving bunch.

Is it weird that the 2 safe places on opposite ends of campus just HAPPEN to be places where writing tutors gather? I think the English department is up to something. Probably they're the ones PLANNING the raptor attack. WHO STANDS TO GAIN?

Okay gosh, I sincerely apologize for this, it has been a long day in the LRC alright? Seriously though. I'm logging 6 hours on my time card. What's 6 x $7.50? Answer= Not enough.