Going to the Doctor

Today I went to the doctor's office, and I realized that for the rest of my life I will be consistantly going to the doctor, and it will always suck. Forever. I told Mom to not be sad if I died young, because at least I'd get out of all my future appointments.

So my doctor, who used to be sort of cool, but is now kind of a crazy old man, made me switch to an injectible form of one of the medications I'm on. It was funny how the whole hting played out--he mentioned that it was better to inject this stuff, save my liver from straining it, 15% more effective, etc etc, and I said yeah great fine, but NO WAY am I ever going to be okay with sticking needles in myself. But I ended up switching over anyway, because this doctor just sort of works that way. He is like both Amitabh Bachchan AND the Borg--resistance is futile.

So anyway, he made me try injecting myself right there in his office, using this saline compound instead of the actual stuff. I was...well, it's hard to say what I was at that point. All I can say is, it's really weird to just sit there and plunge a sharp object into your own body. That's normally something you try to avoid, right? So I'm sitting there, holding the loaded syringe, halfway crying, cussing under my breath at the freaking doctor who is telling me to just DO IT when I can't imagine actually putting that needle into my leg. The annoying thing is that he kept on assuring me that it didn't hurt at all because the needle was so small and the stuff wasn't painful inside of you--I mean yeah, that is great to hear, but it's not jsut the imagined pain that makes it hard to stick yourself. It's the whole idea of metal and skin and puncturing and ugggggglllhhh.

Anyway. I have to do it once a week for I dunno, the rest of my life mostly? Hmm. The funny thing is that as much as it sort of sucks to have to give yourself shots, part of me takes pleasure in the theatricallity of it. I mean, I get to store small bottles of medical compounds in my regrigerator, probably in little boxes that I can put prescription stickers on. And don't even get me started on my bottle full of used syringes. Plus, this'll make it so much easier to take illegal drugs and spread horrible diseases to all my friends! Hey boy, you like to share dirty needles?