alive

Call of the search and rescue teams, I made it through last night alive.  BARELY.  I ended up coming home by around 8 and finishing stuff up in bed or back at the studio this morning.  That's my plan tonight as well--I did all the stuff that I needed fancy equipment for and brought the rest home with me.  After I finish sewing this book up tonight, I will be completely caught up with class and on top of EVERYTHING.  That. . . that is pretty awesome of me. :) But for reals I  had a moment this evening when I was mending this paper and everyone else had gone home and it suddenly came to me: I really like this.  Which, like, DUH Katy, your whole stupid life has been about bookbinding for the past um WHILE so I should HOPE that you really like it, shoot!  But the ridiculous thing about me is that I am really good at getting in my own head and messing things up!  I keep freaking myself out that I'm not really good at this and I don't really like it and it'll never work and it's stupid to try.  Like for reals if you ever are in need of self-defeating-negative-self-talk I have plenty to spare.  So it was kind of amazing to take a second after two solid [SOLID] conservation days to realize, shoot, I don't care if I'm not good at thiis right now or if it takes me a million years ro even be decent, I LIKE IT AND I WILL DO IT.  Hurrah!!